Sex. The most daunting three-letter word in this day and age.  There are a variety of different scenarios and situations that can lead up to this three-letter word, but there are only several ways a girl can handle it.  It could be that a boyfriend of a year wants to “take the relationship to a new level”, or maybe it's a mutual understanding between you and your boyfriend of five years.  Whatever the case may be, the only two answers out there are “yes” or “no”.  Sex is an important step in a relationship that shows a certain level of trust, dedication, and that other daunting word, love.  So how does a person know if they are ready for sex?

Usually, the first step to find out if a relationship is strong enough for sex is to tell if you are truly comfortable around your significant other.  A person who is ready to have sex should not be ashamed or scared of their flaws, both physical and emotional.

The next step is to find out if its really you who wants this, and that its not just pressure from the other person in the relationship.  A couple would be ready to have sex when both members, not just one, is ready.  If there is any pressure coming from the other member in the relationship, chances are that they will pressure you into other situations as well.  A healthy relationship is one where there is no forcing of opinions or desires.

Also, a person can usually tell when they are ready to have sex.  Inner conflicts can be a sign that you aren’t ready.  If you are fighting yourself to have sex, then it might not be your wish to have sex, and just pressure from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The following advice comes from fellow teens who have more ways to tell if a couple is ready for that next step.  Kim, of California, says “They’re ready when they’re ready to accept the consequences. If, by chance the girl gets pregnant, they should be ready to raise that kid or get an abortion. Sure, there’s the pleasure from sex but [a couple] needs to realize there are downsides as well.”  On that same note, Rae, also from California, notes that a couple should be 18, of legal age, if they decide to have sex.  If a couple is 18, then they are able to decide what happens if there are pregnancies, disease, or any other complications.

Ultimately, a couple should not commit to sex unless they are both emotionally and physically stable, able to accept any consequences that can occur, and truly feel that they are connected in their relationship.  No one is a better judge than yourself.  The only thing a person can do is to trust their instincts and not rush into anything.

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