At 20, the second year university student describes himself as a self-proclaimed player since the age of 14. “Everybody in high school had their thing, whether it was being a skater, a jock, or a brainiac. I just happened to be a player,” he says casually. 

While many people are not unfamiliar with the term, defining the word ‘player’ is not as easy as it seems. One commonly held view defines a player as somebody that ‘plays’ women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they’re only interested in sex. Another defines it as a guy that’s having exclusive relationships with multiple girls at once.

Whichever way you look at it, it seems there aren’t many good things to say about guys who take pride in being a player. That isn’t to say that they still don’t try. "I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to be a player. It means I know who I am and how to convey myself to women. So many guys are scared to even talk to girls, so I pride myself on the fact that I can talk to so many of them,” he continues as he checks out the group of girls that walk in.  "Don’t get me wrong though, I have a lot of respect for women,” he adds still eyeing them. Though the idea of dating a player will usually make a girl turn around and walk the other way, Mike says it’s unnecessary.
“For what it’s worth, I think we get a bad rap for no reason. Being a player means that we love women and as bad as this sounds, we love them so much we can’t just stick to one,” he says.

Besides the idea that players love women, he says there are many other qualities that make a guy a player. An important one being a complete lack of interest for an exclusive relationship, “I’m 20, I’m not 35, so why should I be acting like I’m married?” he says fervently. What else makes a player, he adds, is the ability to speak to girls in a way that makes them feel like “they’re really the only ones we care about.”

As morbid as all of this will sound to a girl trying to find love, Jeff tells me for many guys it’s just a phase. Almost 24 years old, Jeff admits that he used to love the freedom that came with such a lifestyle. “Being able to do whatever you want with whoever you want was probably one of the main reasons I used to do what I did. It was such a rush knowing that I had the ability to juggle around more than one girl without the other ones knowing,” he says, clearly a little embarrassed. “All it took was the right girl to get me out of that funk though,” he adds.

While there are guys like Jeff that convert at some point in their life, Mike says it’s too much fun being a player. “I know most girls, and even some guys, will cringe when they hear me talking about it so openly but it’s just who I am. I know they probably think guys like me are bad people, but despite what we do I don’t think it’s true,” he says as he gets a text from a girl he met earlier.

And what is it that they exactly do? They talk up girls into believing they want a relationship, sometimes even talking to 5 or 6 girls at a time. “I treat all of them like gold, but right when any of them want more I just drop them. It’s not like they didn’t get anything out of it and it’s not like I didn’t either – if you know what I mean,” he says laughing.

Though Mike may think it’s okay to treat girls the way he does, young women today seem to be over the whole ‘don’t hate the player, hate the game’ saying – preferring much more to not play the game at all.

*Names have been changed. 

	Written by Alex Avendano on 09-02-2008 13:52 - Registered
	Haha thanks Ben. What can I say, I've been played before. And no girl deserves that! Guys don't either, because girls can be players too.

	Written by Ben Hall on 09-02-2008 11:11 - Registered
	Likes it... Well Ms. Avendano, it's clear to see where your opinions lay on this :P  Nicely done

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