"In my situation, I wasn't attracted to Eduardo," Cheryl said, "The relationship evolved extremely fast and he was very smooth, washing my laundry while I was at work, rubbing my back for me after work while providing a glass of wine." Cheryl said that she was caught off guard because she was not expecting Eduardo to come onto her.  She knew that he was a gay man and did not give serious thought to their relationship in a romantic sense.  She attributes this to being one of the most dangerous parts of the situation. Looking back, Cheryl regrets how she reacted to the relationship."One of the big problems with my situation is that I reacted instead of acting," Cheryl said.  "I definitely had a choice but I didn't sit back and look at what was occurring long enough to think it through."

There is also a question of why some gay men allow or pursue a romantic relationship with women.  Cheryl thinks that some gay men are confused within themselves and are not completely sure of who or what they are looking for.  She has a strong opinion about Eduardo's motives in their relationship though. "It appears fairly obvious to me that the relationship was driven by Eduardo's desire to secure American citizenship," she said. She also said that part of the reason she herself got entangled in the relationship was loneliness and ignorance.

Since Cheryl and Eduardo's relationship ended, many things have changed in Cheryl's life.  She now has a son in addition to two children from a previous marriage.  She says that unfortunately her son was was brought into a very stressful and combative environment. "This situation, to put it simply, is a very hostile and self-serving situation to bring a child into," Cheryl said.  "The child is 4 years old now and has not known a time when I haven't been in court with his father and his father's lover who is a lawyer in New York."

Cheryl has also since had to look at how she feels about homosexuality and love in general.  She says that she tries not to be "anti-homosexual," but she and her family struggle with that.  She feels in her heart, though, that the answer is not to lose faith in in loving homosexual relationships, but to learn to trust in humans again. But why did Cheryl, like many women, get into a relationship with a gay man in the first place? "Initially I got myself embroiled in this whole ordeal because I felt sorry for Eduardo and Steven; two gay men 'truly' in love but separated by citizenship," Cheryl said.  "Five years ago I was idealistic and thought that what I was doing was for the 'greater good'." She now says that she has learned not to trust other people's judgment and do her own research, even if people appear respectable. "I wish I would have listened to that 'little voice' that was telling me that it didn't feel right, but I felt that I couldn't back out," Cheryl said.

Despite all that she's been through, though, Cheryl is glad of one thing. "I can not regret the beautiful little boy that makes everything worth while and provides me with the daily strength to continue on," she said.

Even though many women would not want to fall in love with a man they know is gay, it does happen in real life.  Whether it is because of the easiness of the friendship, the hope that maybe the man will change, or just not being able to stop the relationship, the relationships between straight women and gay men are some of the most interesting and complicated of all.

Photo Credit:  http://blog.americanfeast.com/images/Couple%20at%20Sunset.jpg

	Written by This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it on 01-02-2010 05:06 - Guest
	Darling im in the same situation but a bit different  a gay guy is in love with a girl and thats my best friend when i love the gay guy When he called me pretty but we both dont fight and him and the other girl doesnt..Me and him are so close when him and the other girl love eachother but they fight all the time..Its like a movie...A LOVEmovie

	Written by This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it on 10-30-2009 08:26 - Guest
	ive fallen also I’ve fallen for a gay man, I cried my eyes out how much he said he wanted to be with me but couldn’t because of his feeling for men. Even with this info from him I’m still in love I want to be with him so badly we were going to runaway together he said in a month I dreamed of that day. He said a month though because now he told me he was gay and he needed a month to figure out his feelings... I need help how to convince this guy. He said I’m perfect for him ,the perfect girl. I need him to be with me, I can’t live without him. Once his computer broke down and I thought he was ignoring me, I began to exploit myself on the internet because I need the same love and I wasn’t getting that attention for a long time. I can’t handle myself without him. I need help how to change his mind... make him realize I’m here for him and perfect just for him.

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